• Hope and fear

    coexist

    I remain
    they stay
  • A red stream of light forces its way into the room. It settles against the wall with a certain insistence. I look at it, then at the surrounding darkness, both holding their positions without negotiation. A relationship: contemplation permitted briefly, then reassigned without notice. “Make the morning tea,” he calls. All philosophies, having made a brief and largely ceremonial appearance, excuse themselves; the kettle proceeds to establish a far more practical order.

    — Thuds of the emotionally concussed
  • Ambitions and dreams,
    dimmed,
    by the drudgery of each day,

    nothing to prove,
    everything to notice
  • I proceed with an intention that feels sufficiently clear. The outcome arrives in a form I do not even remotely expect. The intervening steps appear to have been reassigned. A relationship: an order is placed; instead of an expensive book, a set of boxers arrive, the bill showing quiet conviction. “Weren’t you expecting this,” she asks, or tells. I consent to the result as presented; the original intention appears to have been quietly slaughtered.
    —  Thuds of the emotionally concussed
  • The day resembles every other mundane day. The calendar insists otherwise. “Are you not celebrating?” she asks. A relationship: certain days are elevated without discussion, and one learns to comply with the height. A sugar bomb cake is arranged; it keeps me buzzed, like a bee, an expression faintly resembling a smile. The occasion gathers a sense of importance, loosely stitched to the cost incurred.
    —  Thuds of the emotionally concussed
  • Disquiet

    maybe
    evolution

    who knows

    I push
    it pushes back
  • In my life, sequence feels like an adopted habit. We were speaking about life, then art, then something slipped. “The salt in the Gobi was a bit less,” she says. A relationship: the script is rewritten during the performance. I nod. An arrangement as natural as idli with Chinese food; I go along with it.
    —  Thuds of the emotionally concussed

  • Water does not

    fear does

    hold

    I recede
  • I stepped on the Pagdandi thinking the world was a flat, predictable surface. The ankle turns like a hinge. Pain is a vertical distance I failed to calculate before the inevitable. A relationship: a cliff masquerading as a gentle, grassy slope. "Did you trip?" she asks, looking at the sky instead of the path. I am horizontal now; the shrubbery is exclusively offering a firm embrace.
    — Thuds of the emotionally concussed
  • The faucet is a silver throat screaming at a temperature called extreame. I offer my palm to it like a bribe, or a small, wet animal. Nerves are slow historians; the regret arrives in a train three hours late. A relationship: a similar arrangement of plumbing and misplaced optimism. "Are you hurt?" she asks, while the skin decides to become a blister. I am looking at the drain; it is the only thing here with a clear exit strategy.
    — Thuds of the emotionally concussed
  • A butterfly

    the flight uneven

    I watch
    for a pattern

    none

    perhaps there isn’t one

    still, I search
  • A thin line of light
    the eyes close, open

    I hold it

    it thins
    gives way

    and then
    I lose it